what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
