Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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