Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
