after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
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