So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
