I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
i would punch a child for taco bell
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
