I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
