I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
