we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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