I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
