what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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