I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
i will never coherently bang her
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Randomize
