White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
he just fucked me for my cheese..
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize