Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I think we might need a safe word for this...
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
