So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
