Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
