I got chris browned last night
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Randomize
