I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
