You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I wish there were birth control emojis
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize
