Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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