Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Can I color on your dick again?
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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