your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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