Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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