if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
