PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
