idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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