I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
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