my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Randomize
