So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
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