I'm really into asian looking animals
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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