ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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