Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
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