My nipple is on Facebook.
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Randomize
