very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I need to wash the frat house off of me
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Randomize
