the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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