i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
