Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
