i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
