I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
