you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Buhtt sex?
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Randomize
