how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Randomize
