insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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