dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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