She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Randomize
