Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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