Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Randomize
