he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
