at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize
