I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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