I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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