She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I think my moral compass just broke
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
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