wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
