i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
