I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
