Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
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