Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
All I want is dick and wine.
Randomize
