i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
