She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
