Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
So vagazzling was a success
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
