So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
