apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
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