My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
If I die, sorry about rent.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
