so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Randomize
