i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
