Someone shit on the floor
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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